3 YEARS

Well, 3 years is a pretty f…ing  big deal. But yet it’s a normal way of life now. It’s my new normal and I like it just fine.  I’m 3 years older but better, skin looks good, I’m super healthy, no meds, I eat really well (just made this awesome hot fudge sauce, sugar’s still a problem), now that I don’t drink I can smell and taste food.  No anxiety, except about my pregnant DIL and mosquitoes and what the Olympics will bring back.  Exercise is easier or at least more enjoyable, sometimes.  Senses are definitely heightened when you stop numbing. Spiritually things are heightened also, sunrises feel more awesome, the full moon seems more brilliant than before. Life and love are more precious, some of that’s my age but not all.  Mornings filled with shame and regret are long gone. Nice.

The 3 years haven’t been all flowers and candy. It’s gotten lots easier to just say no but it was really hard in the beginning. I still remember the first week vividly, but, I don’t remember much about the next 30 or 60, just that things got better and I felt like a new person.  I am not new, I just shed the shitty skin to find the real me underneath.  I was there all along, hiding, being buried in fog and shame.  It was so good to burst free.

I’ve had some awesome treats over the 3 years, I’m the Queen of self care. Tea, cake, bubbles, candles, magazines, books, pedicures, you name it and I say yes, I’ve earned it! But when it comes to the soberversaries I’ve shared with family, a little.

Olive, my first year present is a constant joy and reminder what lots of love and a little training can do for us all. We share a special bond.  She doesn’t drink alcohol either. She behaves well in the house but really turns into a little devil when she’s unleashed.  We share that also, well, I don’t always behave well in the house.

At two years we had some extra hardwood floors added to the house and I love them too. Definitely an improvement for the house and our lives.  Kids and dogs seem to love to throw up or spill on carpet so the absence of those has made life lots easier. Just so happened we had them installed around year two. So why not think of it as my present. Beats a new teacup.

For three years we’re having the kitchen remodeled.  Timing is everything, it’s not for my soberversary but hey,  I’ll take it. Not a big remodel but cabinets and counters.  It’s really time, our cabinets have seen better days.  We actually had one fall off the wall a couple years ago (one too many cookbooks!)  That’s not just a treat for me but Husband#1 too.  He does almost all the cooking so he’ll enjoy it too.  He’s at 207+ days and still going. He got a new down pillow for a treat and sleeps like a baby. I’m very proud of him, love him even more. Things are really good with us right now. Nice.

So, at 3 years life is normal, ups and downs, laughter and tears, normal.  So much better than before, so much richer and fuller, more meaningful.  If you’re thinking about quitting, stop thinking and do it. What I’ve written above is the truth, things get better when you put down the glass. Just don’t drink today, I’m not.

You guys have been with me every step of the way and I thank you all for that.  Wouldn’t be here without you, love you all.  To my girlfriend in France, je t’aime. Onward to 4.

Sharon

My old self.

My baby

My daughter and son and the gifts they have given me.