A Year in the Life

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets
In midnights, in cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife
In five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure, a year in the life?

Read more: RENT – Seasons Of Love Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Well, 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8765.81 hours and 565,600 minutes. I don’t think I need to go further than that. Here are a few highlights of the year in the life of a 62 year old woman recovering from alcohol abuse.

July 28, 2013- I just can’t go on. I’m killing myself slowly from the inside out. God help me stop. Somebody help me stop. Please, please don’t let me drink again tonight. I some how, somewhere found the determination to not take a drink. It was probably the disgusting hangover I woke with that morning after a bottle of white and half a bottle of sickening sweet sangria. I’m a mess, this isn’t who I’m supposed to be, what the fuck happened to Sharon.

August 5, 2013 – After 5 days of white knuckling, skin crawling days spent reading sober blogs, joining Soberistas, the BFB, listening to the Bubble hour, pacing the kitchen, going for walks, I decided to join Belle’s 100 day challenge. I reminded myself constantly about the out of control drinking, the fuzzy thinking, the pathetic thing I called my life. Husband #1 was out of the country at the time but his reaction, ” How are you ever going to do that?”.  WTF.

Mid August – With Belle’s daily encouragement, my treats, 1-2 hours of reading sober blogs daily and tonic and lime in a wine glass, ( I know, I know, but it’s the ceremony of the thing) I got through it. Today, I can take the wine glass or leave it, but early on it soothed me. I know it was pretending but whatever works is my motto.  I also took Belle’s Sober Jumpstart Class and cried, cried, cried when I talked to her at the end of the week. I knew I deserved better than the life I was living.  It was time.

September – 1st beach vacation sober.  It was hard during the witching hour.  Husband #1 would be having his wine and fixing dinner, I would take my tonic to the deck with a magazine, anything to avoid the kitchen.  I watched the sun rise over the ocean every morning and looked at the incredible stars every night.  I surprised myself by having a really good time.  I read sober blogs every night.  It was on vacation that I discovered Trish’s Changing Courses Now blog.  Here was my sober cyber sister.  We were almost the same age, had a lot in common.  We started to email and it helped me greatly.  She was a month or two ahead of me.  She spent two weeks in Italy alcohol free.  If she could do that in Italy, I could certainly make it work on the Outer Banks of North Carolina.

I celebrated my 62nd birthday, sober! It was wonderful and pink clouds had arrived.  Even though they come and go I still have amazing moments of bliss.  I think I look good in pink!

My lifestyle changed dramatically on Sept. 27th, two days after my birthday.  I became a caregiver- full time – for my 3 month old granddaughter, Grace.  I talked to Belle, I was worried at the end of a tiring day of baby care at my age, that wolfie’s voice would be too strong for me to fight.  She reminded me of my toolbox and that I was at 60 days.  I didn’t ever want to start over so I persevered.  There were many nights I collapsed into the couch but I did not drink. Who am I kidding, I still collapse into the couch when the grandkids go home.

Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. No wine. Food tasted better and I truly enjoyed my family, took the time to listen to what they were saying instead of refilling my glass.

Girl’s weekend in February.  Guess what- it was just as much fun or more sober.  No hangovers. No embarrassing behavior, well maybe a little.

It snowed, snowed, snowed until late April, I thought I would go stir crazy but I made it – no booze.

Summer – Oh yes!!! Coffee on my porch in the morning.  I’m down to 2 days a week watching Gracie, she’s 1 year old now, so it’s a fraction less stressful at my house. We’re about to go back to the beach.  One week with family, one alone. Lots of sunrises and stars.

Best time of my year has been the last 70 days.  Husband #1 stopped drinking on May 18th.  He’s in Belle’s challenge now. Everything has been better, we’ve gotten closer, talk more, watch tv together, actually go for ice cream some evenings.  It’s much easier to not think about drinking when the person next to you isn’t sipping wine nightly.  Everything is better, 😉 😉 😉

The wolf still lives in a tiny studio apartment in my head, but the walls are closing in on him.  I actually just recently had an encounter with him.  Don’t talk to Belle much these days but I emailed her that I needed an exorcism. I fell off a ladder while hanging a chandelier on the 18th.  Really fucking sprained my wrist, really bad timing.  Stupid, stupid, I have to watch kids, housebreak a pup, yada, yada.  I was so pissed.  Sitting in Immediate Care ( which is such a fucking misnomer, it should be called Eventual Care ) after an hour wait, they took x-rays and sent me home.  While waiting the wolf wondered if I wouldn’t like a glass, bottle, vat of wine when I got home.  It’s what I would have done a year ago.   I told him to leave me the hell alone.  I had Tylenol and ice.

So, I’ll be celebrating today with cake, a little black dog, a big yellow dog, a sober husband, all with a big black wrist splint on my arm.  Oh well, shit happens, life goes on.  It’s better sober. No regrets for past mistakes, not enough time left for regrets, and regrets are a waste of time.  I think I’ll envelop myself in pink clouds for the next 30 years.  Want to join me?  Thanks to you all, every one of you, with your help I made it to 365. Next stop 545 days and onward to forever, one day at a time.

P.S. To my beautiful guardian angel, you know who you are.  Merci. That’s shit Sharon says!

image

Meet Olive the Puppy. We’ve had her three days.  I’m very tired. LOL.

Sharon

Advertisements

19 thoughts on “A Year in the Life

  1. Congratulations! Funny how some events seem like yesterday and others seem so long ago. I am glad that your life improved with sobriety. Take care of that wrist. Have a wonderful time at the Outer Banks.

  2. Oh Sharon! Congrats on one year! I smiled throughout your post. It’s great to be able to look back and see how life improves by removing that one stupid, addictive liquid. Freedom…freedom… freedom forever! And thanks for the shout-out, sober sister! Love ya! Trish

  3. Congratulations Sharon! I love your posts, they all resonate with me as I too am sober at 60! What the fuck took me so long…You are such an inspiration. Hope the wrist is better soon and Happy 365!!!!!!

  4. Wow, this is truly amazing to read. I got a little choked up, I love that you shared some thoughts from beginning to end. Congrats to you and I’m so thrilled to hear the happiness:) Love that you rewarded yourself with a little puppy…what could be a bigger treat than that? You’re awesome.

  5. Pingback: “I will not drink to celebrate or grieve” | Tired of Thinking About Drinking

  6. Congratulations Sharon. I never doubted that you could do it…you are one strong lady. Happy to hear that your husband has joined us sober folks! Wishing you quick and easy healing, and a great and fun soberversary. Big hugs! xo

  7. Bravo!!!! 365!!! What a beautiful, glorius, amazing number! Just like 1 day was but with so many more teeth and muscles!

    And lord have mercy that is a cute pup! Makes me want another one…almost.

    Bravo again!

    Sherry

  8. Hey Sharon – you jolly well did it! And I remember a fair bit of your journey so really brilliant to see it recapped!

    Can’t decide which suits you better – the puppy, or the sober Husband #1… tell you what, you get to have both, and you deserve it! So pleased for you both and a big well done to Husband, too. Bet he’s appreciating all those 😉 ‘s …. 🙂

    always great to read your posts – and your email to Belle made me blub! Much love, Prim xxx

  9. oh you soooo give me hope ,and well done you. Love reading these blogs. Ive just been to a Landmark forum last weekend and now 5 days sober—-also 62years and feeling great.x

  10. What a beautiful post, despite the wrist, the sense of contentment and “centredness” (I gather there’s no such word, it just took me at least 5 goes to stop auto correct fixing that one but I can’t think of any other way to describe it) really emanates from it. I’ve followed your journey and just want to say how lovely to give hope to so many others. And that puppy! Adorable.

  11. I am very happy for you. I just turned 61 and and am 16 months sober. At times, I still cannot believe it is true.You are an inspiration, maybe especially, for those of us born in the 1950’s. Fuck wolfie and the alcohol industry that wants to enslave so many of us. Sobriety is liberation and freedom ! Congratulations to you !

  12. For what it’s worth, my wife has been almost as much a part of my recovery as my weimardoodle. There’s something about my dog that extends unconditional love when I need it most, mercy when I’m least willing to accept it, and unfailing companionship when I am unable to reach out on my own for it. It’s no coincidence that the greatest challenge to my sobriety was the day we had our 14-year-old chocolate lab put down. I honestly don’t look back on that day too critically because i really don’t want to know how I made it through the day sober. That I did is enough for me. Congratulations on a splendid anniversary!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s