Random Acts of Ranting

Well I have a lot to say about various subjects.  My usual random thoughts about nothing in particular, my random acts of ranting.

First:

You are all too damn smart!! I was going to drag this treat on, things like, it’s black and sleek and shiny.  Yada Yada, but NO,  you’re all to fucking brilliant and guessed my 365 treat.  It’s a black lab puppy. For Prim and Lou it’s an English Black Lab pup, to my mind much more handsome than an “American” lab. So, I’m crazy, I know.  I’ll be getting up in the middle of the night to take her out.  Well, I’m awake half the night anyway so that doesn’t matter.  There’s no such thing as sleeping like a baby at 62, sorry ladies, it’s just a fact of life. I’ll be busy trying to keep her from nipping at ankles and chewing hands of little girls. I’ll be trying to keep Ralph the Dog (American) from crushing her in an attempt to use her as a ball. Hopefully I won’t be cleaning up too many messes, never have in the past, they’re really easily trained dogs.  I know, what a crazy fucking thing to do at my age.  Well by the time the dog is 12, I’ll be 74, we will both have slowed down by then and we can manage each other. She was born on May 28th (10 months sober for me) She’ll be picked up on the 25th or 26th of July, my one year soberversary is July 28.

Signs, signs everywhere there’s signs
Fuckin’ up the scenery, breakin’ my mind
Do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the sign

What else could I do but send a deposit. Have thought about calling her Belle.  But there are lots of Belle’s in the neighborhood. So she will probably be Olive ( you know Black olive, Ha Ha), or Stella ( want to open the door and yell Stella, Stella). I bet some of you don’t even know who Marlon Brando is!!  Or Scarlet or Violet, though my kids and husband aren’t on board with that. She’ll keep me even more active than I already am. Good God, what was I thinking?

Second:

Speaking of husband #1, he will hit 30 days AF on June 18th.  He’s not counting days, I am, sort of,  for him. He’s not reading blogs, though I do have him reading Jason Vale’s book.  He’s not sure how long he’ll continue, IF he’ll continue. But it’s been amazing since he quit. Our evenings are now ordinary and I love that.  We watch TV, we drink tea, we take walks (these are limited because of my FUCKING foot issue.) We even went to dairy queen one night. We’re acting like regular people. It’s divine. He said he’s doing this to make me happy and he is.  It also shows me how terribly awful much he’s still in love with me after all this time. I won’t ask him to continue, it’s his decision,  but it’s nice.  He says maybe he’ll do 30 on 30 off, maybe he’ll drink on vacation. Then he turns around and says how much better he feels emotionally and physically. Back and forth. Been there, haven’t we? But I’m proud of him. It’s probably 15 years since he’s had this many days sober.

Third:

This also involves husand #1 and a post Prim had over at takinganewpath.wordpress.com concerning wobbles. He was talking about drinking on vacation (End of August) and out of my mouth came the voice of a wolf.  It was like I was Linda Blair in the Exorcist, I’m surprised my head didn’t rotate, wait, it did! I said, “maybe I’ll tell the kids (they’ll all coming with us the first week) I’m drinking on vacation and just do it then, that way when we get back I won’t drink cause I will have said it in front of them.” WTF, WTF, WTF. I was stunned, what was I saying, I knew and know better than to think I can ever drink again. Was it because I’m coming up on a big date, I’ve read lots of blog where people experience things like that, BUT NOT MEEEEE! I was mortified that I even voiced that idea and I dismissed it as quickly.  Husband #1 didn’t react until I said WTF, then he said call Belle, email someone, panic in his eyes.  It passed quickly, thank the Lord for that. But it happened. Just when I thought the wolf was dead and buried, his ghost was floating through my head. “Get the fuck out of there”, she said vehemently. Sorry for all the F words but I was pissed. This happened a couple of weeks ago and as quickly as it came, it passed.  But I wanted you all to know that even though lots of my posts are euphoric doesn’t mean all of the in between is sunshine and roses. This sober stuff is still hard.

Fourth: Now back to my puppy.  This is not her, but close enough.  We go to take a look on the 21st, she’ll be 4 weeks old. Weigh in on names and if you have any brilliant suggestions. OK, collective AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH.

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10 thoughts on “Random Acts of Ranting

  1. How cute! I want a puppy one of these days. And chickens. Ha! Thanks for sharing- sounds like you are doing great! Wolfie is so sneaky. He came out for me last night when I was packing a cooler for a concert. It happens less and less, though, which is amazing. xo

  2. Oh my goodness what a cutie. English too 😉 I’m so pleased husband No1 is doing this to make you happy – now he just needs to keep doing it right? 🙂 My son just got a black kitten and called it Inky. Just a thought xx

  3. Love your posts. I will be 60 next year and you are inspiring me to try and change my life for the better. I have an English black lab, love my little girl. Her name is Keirah (Kee-rah) it’s Celtic for little black one. Just a thought.

  4. So happy I found your blog. I’m 60 and on day 40 of Belle’s challenge. I love the positivisty on your site. I am a very upbeat person who has a great life that was being derailed by alcohol and Wolfie. So happy for you and your new puppy. I just rescued a 3 year old Alaskan Malamute. (My 10 year old boy lost a battle with cancer and I was too lost without a furry kid in the house.) I LOVE puppies but between work, and helping out with my almost a year old grandson it just wasn’t fair to a puppy. So I now have a great big, hairy bundle of love – Bubbles. Looking forward to more of your posts! 🙂

  5. Oh Sharon – that pup is adorable! I had never heard of an English Lab. I just might be my next puppy! Enjoyed your post. I had no idea that Hubby #1 was going AF. Congrats to that! My hub and I are celebrating 35 years today. We enjoyed a nice steak dinner at a fancy steakhouse last night. I had my bottle of Pellegrino and he had his glass (2) of red. No problems …no urges. No worries about wobbling out the door of the restaurant 😉

  6. I’m going to take a peek at what the English version of my two girls looks like! What a wonderful treat to celebrate day 365! Congratulations and thanks for the inspiration! I have had 3 black labs: Sadie (gone too young), Sophie and Gillie (both going strong). Best dogs ever. 🙂

  7. Ha! So my lab Sophie is definitely an English version. You are right, much more beautiful than the American version. Day 53 here…in America.

  8. I’ve always been partial to women’s names for (female) dogs — so far, throughout my childhood and marriage, we’ve had six:

    Donna Marie
    Howard (don’t ask, but that was her name)
    Lily
    Melanie
    Evita
    Lola

    The English-style labs are blockier and stouter than their field lab cousins. You could go with an English name:

    Edith
    Edna
    Louise
    Rose or Rosie
    Daisy

    or how about names from the 1950s that are no longer popular for humans, but could be humorous and cute for a dog:

    Linda
    Barbara
    Cathy (that’s me!)
    Judy
    Rhonda
    Beverly
    Helen

    Congratulations on your anniversary! My actual wedding anniversary is July 28, and it’s 30 years. I was thinking (and heavily hinting) about some jewelry, but you’ve given me a new idea. At our age (I’m 57, but still), it could be the last dog we ever (intentionally) bring into the house.

    On the other hand, I could still hold out for jewelry, and do the puppy thing on my actual soberversary, which will be April 25, 2015.

    Thank you for being you, so down-to-earth and real. I’ve been reading your blog since I took my last drink on April 24.

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