Wishing

I was thinking on Friday how much we or I have wished my life away.  I couldn’t wait to be 13, a teenager. I wish I was 16 so I could drive.  I can’t wait until I’m 21 so I can drink. (I was one of those goody-two-shoes who didn’t touch alcohol until I was legal.). And then the dreaded wishing it was 5 o’clock so I could start to drink. Every day. 

I was thinking all this as I was sitting on the floor playing with Grace. I’ve been sober all but a few days of her life. She was born July 5th, my last glass of wine was July 28th.  Not so with my 3 year old granddaughter.  I used to wish for 5 o’clock when she was around.  Wish her mom would hurry up and pick her up so I could have my wine.  How pathetic! 

Not any more.  I am here, every day, every moment, every smile from all three of my granddaughters, my children, my husband, my friends.  I’m not wishing any more time away. If I could wish for time to stop now, would I?  I don’t think so.  I’m looking forward to the next 30 years.  Being here, really here. Me, Sharon, not some shell with no one on the inside.

Is there anything better than biz-buzzing a baby’s belly (say that three times fast) and hearing that miraculous giggle?  I don’t think so.  Now that’s something I wish I could bottle and open at 5 o’clock everyday.

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “Wishing

  1. That’s so nice. Glad you get this quality sober time with your grand kids. I understand the waiting until 5 o’clock…I used to feel like that with my son, waiting for his Dad to get home so I could open a beer or wine at 6! I really don’t miss that. Life is calmer and better now. 🙂

  2. Oh yes…wishing away my boys’ childhood for a damn bottle of wine. You are so right…pathetic.

    But now I’m capturing and enjoying every moment. And we call them zerberts! I love to zerbert!

    Sherry

  3. I can relate! Just found your blog tonight….the title caught my attention because I will be 60 (on July 5th :). Thank you for sharing. I am on day 50 today of the 100 day challenge. Just when I thought it was getting easier, it seems to be getting harder lately. I am branching out to more blogs, more good and positive thoughts, more people I relate to and more support.

  4. A really lovely post! I would have that wishing away the time thing – and waiting for the six o clock wine o clock time each evening. It is so important to live in the moment. I am on day 5 but so unbelievably determined this time after many false starts. X

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s