I was thinking on Friday how much we or I have wished my life away. I couldn’t wait to be 13, a teenager. I wish I was 16 so I could drive. I can’t wait until I’m 21 so I can drink. (I was one of those goody-two-shoes who didn’t touch alcohol until I was legal.). And then the dreaded wishing it was 5 o’clock so I could start to drink. Every day.
I was thinking all this as I was sitting on the floor playing with Grace. I’ve been sober all but a few days of her life. She was born July 5th, my last glass of wine was July 28th. Not so with my 3 year old granddaughter. I used to wish for 5 o’clock when she was around. Wish her mom would hurry up and pick her up so I could have my wine. How pathetic!
Not any more. I am here, every day, every moment, every smile from all three of my granddaughters, my children, my husband, my friends. I’m not wishing any more time away. If I could wish for time to stop now, would I? I don’t think so. I’m looking forward to the next 30 years. Being here, really here. Me, Sharon, not some shell with no one on the inside.
Is there anything better than biz-buzzing a baby’s belly (say that three times fast) and hearing that miraculous giggle? I don’t think so. Now that’s something I wish I could bottle and open at 5 o’clock everyday.