Layers

Alicia Keys – Brand New Me (Lyric Video) [Lyrics on Screen]

It’s been a while, I’m not who I was before
You look surprised, your words don’t burn me anymore
Been meaning to tell you, but I guess it’s clear to see
Don’t be mad, it’s just the brand new kind of me
Can’t be bad, I found a brand new kind of freeCareful with your ego, he’s the one that we should blame
Had to grab my heart back
God know something had to change
I thought that you’d be happy
I found the one thing I need, why you mad
It’s just the brand new kind of meIt took a long long time to get here
It took a brave, brave girl to try
It took one too many excuses, one too many lies
Don’t be surprised, don’t be surprisedIf I talk a little louder
If I speak up when you’re wrong
If I walk a little taller
I’ve been on to you too long
If you noticed that I’m different
Don’t take it personally
Don’t be mad, it’s just the brand new kind of me
And it ain’t bad, I found a brand new kind of free

Oh, it took a long long road to get here
It took a brave brave girl to try
I’ve taken one too many excuses, one too many lies
Don’t be surprised, oh see you look surprised

Hey, if you were a friend, you want to get know me again
If you were worth a while
You’d be happy to see me smile
I’m not expecting sorry
I’m too busy finding myself
I got this
I found me, I found me, yeah
I don’t need your opinion
I’m not waiting for your ok
I’ll never be perfect, but at least now i’m brave
Now, my heart is open
And I can finally breathe
Don’t be mad, it’s just the brand new kind of free
That ain’t bad, I found a brand new kind of me
Don’t be mad, it’s a brand new time for me, yeah

So I got this from Trish at Changing Courses Now. The music’s beautiful but it’s the lyrics that spoke to me. It’s so appropriate for the way I feel and for the new year ahead. I listen to this frequently.  When I was out walking, when the weather was nicer, I’d listen and it made me feel like Rocky climbing the steps of the Art Museum; in the car I crank it up really loud, and in the house the neighbors probably wonder what the hell is going on over there.  It’s my favorite, that and dancing with Grace to Van Morrison’s “Bright Side of the Road”, these things keep my pink cloud very rosy.

First  sober New Years in so very many years.  Tomorrow I will be well rested and alert.

I feel like I’ve been set free.  Like I finally shoveled out from under all these layers of shit and shame and lies and regrets.

It’s not really a brand new me, it’s just me.  Shed my old slimy, wine soaked skin and grew into a soft, subtle sober one.  I feel so much calmer and capable.  Much less anxious and irritable. Strong, very very strong.

As for resolutions, well I haven’t many, BUT…

There’s these 8 pounds that have been hanging around for the last 1 1/2 years, they don’t go up or down, they just stay the same.  I think I’m going to try harder to shed those too. LOL my ass.  Actually one or two of those 8 is probably there.

Happy New Year!!!

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6 thoughts on “Layers

  1. Yes, it’s on my regular playlist as well! It does really describe us doesn’t it? So happy to be on this journey with you Sharon, my sober sister. Have a wonderful, warm evening tonight (I hear it’s freezing up there!). Talk to you in 2014! Trish

  2. watched this on Youtube after you posted on Belle’s blog about it – it’s great and the lyrics really strike home. “I’ll never be perfect, but at least now I’m brave.” Bravely into 2014! Thanks so much
    for passing this one on.

  3. Pingback: hey, you with the pretty face – welcome to the human race! | taking a new path

  4. Oh this is so good. I still think about that first sip (gulp?) and it still seems lovely…in my head of course. In reality…well…you know.

    I love what you said about little ones being a young woman’s game. No truer words have ever been spoken.

    Great post.

    Sherry

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