Tonight was my book club’s annual Christmas outing. We usually buy books for the needy and then go to dinner. We mixed it up a little tonight and went shopping first and then dinner. We shopped at War Chest, Woman At Risk. Items are handmade and lovely. We went to dinner. I ordered a tonic and lime. Some of the girls knew I had stopped drinking, I initially said for health reasons. A friend who had not attended the last couple months meetings was shocked to hear that I quit drinking in July. I surprised myself as I said, “I was drinking too much. It had become a problem so I quit.” It felt good to be honest, these are my friends I’ve known for years. I drank with them for years. So now it’s out there, I’m out there.
The girl that was unaware looked at me and said, “boy, I wish I had your strength and will.” I always drank the most, she ran a close second. Maybe my honesty will get her to slow down.
Speaking the truth was so cathartic, it made me feel very free, more weight off my shoulders. I still don’t like the A word, maybe with time I’ll get used to it. But I don’t mind saying that my drinking was getting out of hand.
We had a great time, I think I laughed the most sans alcohol and I paid attention to my friends, really paid attention. I wasn’t constantly wondering when I could order another glass of wine and trying to get the others to do the same so I didn’t feel guilty. There are lots of firsts on this sober journey.